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original sin? no it should be "original sinsuality"

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no car troubles! Jan. 18th, 2006 @ 05:10 pm
Well, Tom and I thought we were going to have to drop 500-1500 dollars on our car, to fix the timing belt, or timing chain, or maybe even the entire motor. The guys at sears were sure of it, but couldn't fix anything there. So last night, the guy who came to tow it from Sears Auto to another mechanic we use, took a look at it, tried starting it in some magical, special mechanic way, and got it to start! woo hoo!
This guy said that sometimes it can flood... with gas, or something, I guess, I dunno, and that if we could drive it home, and then restart it we should be fine. And we were! Yay! "mmmm... kyle's money"

wee...

He also said never to listen to those guys at the Sears Auto Centers.

Anyway, so now we can, as planned, pay off a chunk of Tommy's college loan this month, and I can partake of the Victoria's Secret semi-annual sale for some undies, a slip, and another of my favorite bras.

This tow truck guy really made our day. :D yay for you!


Ooh, tonight I think I am going to make homemade veg. chili and the T.J.s blue corn cornbread mix. yumm...
____

Tom and I make veggie quesadillas often, and we always end up with slightly different tasting ones. But last night's were worth typing out. These were the best we have ever made.


veggie quesadillas

-thinly sliced carrots
-chopped onions
-chopped zucchini
-sliced mushrooms
-orange muscat champagne vinegar (other vinegars, not plain, would do)
-chili powder
-cumin
-salt and pepper
-T.J.s monterey jack cheese
-fresh cilantro
-T.J.s homemade flour tortillas


caramelize onions, add spices, add mushrooms, deglaze pan with vinegar, add carrots, and zucchini last, at right time. place tortillas on skillet, put veggies on half of flour tortilla, top with cheese and cilantro, fold other half of tortilla down, and brown both sides of quesadilla on med. heat. serve immediately.

'Upward Over the Mountain' Jan. 16th, 2006 @ 03:49 am
Mother don't worry, I killed the last snake that lived in the creek bed
Mother don't worry, I've got some money I saved for the weekend
Mother remember being so stern with that girl who was with me?
Mother remember the blink of an eye when I breathed through your body?

So may the sunrise bring hope where it once was forgotten
Sons are like birds, flying upward over the mountain

Mother I made it up from the bruise on the floor of this prison
Mother I lost it, all of the fear of the Lord I was given
Mother forget me now that the creek drank the cradle you sang to
Mother forgive me, I sold your car for the shoes that I gave you

So may the sunrise bring hope where it once was forgotten
Sons could be birds, taken broken up to the mountain

Mother don't worry, I've got a coat and some friends on the corner
Mother don't worry, she's got a garden we're planting together
Mother remember the night that the dog HAD her pups in the pantry?
Blood on the floor, fleas on their paws,
And you cried 'til the morning

So may the sunrise bring hope where it once was forgotten
Sons are like birds, flying always over the mountain

-Iron and Wine

------

I made stuffed mushrooms tonight. They were filled with feta cheese, sauteed onions, walnuts, garlic, spinach and a little sharp, white cheddar. They were so good. Oh, and they were my very first homemade stuffed mushroom, and the best I have ever had, I think. The flavors were much more subtle, fresher, and less pungent than other stuffed mushrooms have been, that I have had. I really recommend making some at home. They don't take long to cook and they are easy to make.

This Iron and Wine song is making me think of my mother and my brother, and other people far away. And it is comforting, even if it is sad, at moments like this when I feel terrible from the memory of the way a heartless person once made me feel so isolated. This song reminds me of my own humanity, my connection with others, and the joy that some of those connections, some that are even delicate or fragile in their own way, cannot be broken by anyone.

my family Dec. 18th, 2005 @ 02:13 pm

my hero Dec. 18th, 2005 @ 02:08 pm

Nov. 21st, 2005 @ 04:46 pm
Peter, Tom, and I went to see 'HP and The Goblet of Fire' last night for the second time. It felt a bit longer this time, but still really good and really fun to see. I think the movie felt longer because I was pretty tired already by the time we saw it.
I do recommend this one. It has none of those painful moments, which the first two and even the third occasionally had, when either the acting, the dialogue, or the editing was either so bad, so predictable, or so cheesy that your heart sank a little each time they came around. This movie has subtlety, maturity and genuine humor. I think a different director and screenplay writer, this time around, have made all the difference.

And, yesterday we went to the mall for a while. I got hair clips, and Tom picked out some toe-socks for me. hee hee. We went to the Lindt chocolate store and I picked out a few little bites of delicious chocolate and also bought a bar of their swiss bittersweet chocolate, which is my favorite. It's vegan, so Peter was able to enjoy it too. YAY!!

So, today I am determined to pull out my knitting stuff, and plan out a skirt to make. Also, I might try to relearn the Bach prelude that I haven't played in a while, and work on a couple pieces from my workbook.

Tom and I have finally, I think, figured out how December will work. We will go to Sean's graduation and spend two-three days there. And then not go to Texas, and just spend Christmas in Arizona. I wish that Tom and I could be with my family for Christmas, but it just hasn't worked out. Tom's parents have already paid for our tickets to Arizona. So, I will make the most of it. I'm sure we will have fun there, too. Scottsdale is a really lovely place. And I will be with Tom for Christmas, which makes me a lucky girl.

I had some bad dreams last night. They weren't nightmares, and not really scary at the time. They were bad in the same way that seeing a dead deer on the side of the road is bad. You know you are not really connected to what happened, but you feel terrible anyway. It haunts you, and if you are like me, it feels like a personal sort of pain, or compassion. Maybe a better way to put it is to say that these dreams were like watching movies, in which I was the main character, and everything was happening to me, but in reality, it was just happening in a movie.

I killed two men by stabbing them repeatedly, mostly in their chests. The first man sort of had me trapped or something, in his house, but I was only there one night. He was obsessed with me, he loved me, or thought he did, and wrote things all over the walls. These things he wrote got gradually scarier and scarier. And then it got to a point where I knew, from what I remember, that he was going to hurt me, or do something to me. I remember that something as going to happen, and then I killed him. I remember thinking, after I had killed him, that he seemed not so bad, kinda sweet, and a bit pathetic at first, and then he just went completely crazy.

The second dream, or perhaps second part of my dream, had me and one or two other girls working in a lab of some kind. We were doing some sort of research on all these babies that had died. It only makes "dream sense" really. I started to notice that the same thing was wrong with all these babies. They looked like they were infected with the same disease or something like that. And then I started to notice strange behavior in a man who had started working with us recently. He would sneak off a bit to eat stuff a lot of the time. He seemed a bit scary to me, and very secretive. The lab that we worked in looked like a place my family lived in in Texas.
When I went back to examine the babies bodies again later, I noticed that there was a slice down the chests of almost all of them, and discovered that part, the same part, of each of their hearts was missing. Then, I figured out what was happening, and caught the man doing it. He was cutting open the babies and eating part of their hearts. He needed to do this to survive because he was some kind of monster. I think somehow he had infected the babies to kill them, or something like that. So, right after I figured out what was happening, I told one of the other ladies, and she confronted him. We were all in the same room. I secretly grabbed a knife as she started talking to him, and then when she finished, he pulled out a knife of his own, and made to throw it at her. So, I stuck up my knife and he was startled enough that he didn't attack the other woman. We lunged towards each other a few times, but he wasn't able to get the knife anywhere near me in the dream. Eventually, he had lost his knife and I was stabbing him over and over again. He got to a point where I knew he was almost gone. He was on his knees and I knew he couldn't think, or see clearly anymore. I knew he was seeing many different things in his mind, and didn't know which one was real. Then he was shaking and crying and we both knew he was a monster, and should die, but I felt very sorry for him and held his had while he died.

The last bit I remember dreaming about was watching my grandmother Judy. It felt like someone had taken me back in time to see what happened to her or something. She was young and married to a man who was in the army, I think, and she was very sad and scared. Her husband took her into a little room somewhere and wrote their names on something to show her that they would always have, and only ever have each other. I watched this and knew that I wasn't to be so, that my grandmother would marry again. I knew that this man was wrong. I didn't know if it would be her fault or his, or neither of their faults, but they wouldn't be together forever. I was sad because I knew, in the dream, that she needed him, and she needed them to be together so much.

I think it's possible that part of the reason these things do not feel more frightening is because they are symbolic of constructs, or aspects of my unconscious mind, which are much less horrific, and so even though I think I killed people in my dream, my unconscious mind thinks I was doing something different, and possibly more mundane.
I have a suspicion that the men I killed were symbolic of, or represented my father and step-father, both of which I have cut almost completely out of my life, and will probably never have any relationship with.


I didn't post about it, but I read 'Memoirs of Geisha'. It was a wonderful and beautiful story, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I think I will read it again soon. I started 'Atonement' about a week or so ago, and got about halfway through until I became so frustrated and nervous that I was practically skimming the pages, and then skipping chapters ahead to get an idea for what happens. And now I don't think I will finish it. I am dissapointed in myself. This is a beautifully written story, and I feel like I have a responsibility to allow it to unfold the way it must. I know it is childish, but I know what is coming, and I refuse to accept it, or at least to have anything to do with it. Maybe I will attempt to finish it, and to see if it can redeem itself in some way. :/

oooh, delicious cold and rainy grey weather is here again. I am going to watch 'Creature Comforts' while I do housework.

Nov. 9th, 2005 @ 10:03 pm
ooh ooh ooh! I love fall.

It's been raining and thundering and lightning...ing... today. :D yay! And, the sky was grey when I woke up. woo hoo. Fall weather is glorious.

I started another letter to Sean today, finally. My Grandmother emailed me some pics of him from when she and Ken visited this last weekend. I will post one up for you to see, too. He has changed so much since I last saw him.

I made some 'Memoirs of a Geisha' LJ icons, which turned out very pretty I think. hee

'Goblet of Fire' in about 8-9 days. I'm so excited.

Oh, I was just uploading some of the pics of my brother so that I could post them here, and I am crying now. I miss him so much. And I am so scared that something might happen to him. He said that unless he gets sent to Iraq he will be stationed in Washington. I hope he goes there. Please please please. I can't lose him.







My brother is very tall. He over 6', but I don't know what he is exactly. What a handsome guy.

Nov. 8th, 2005 @ 07:52 pm
Well, today, I have done not a lot of things today. :P

Tom and I are making some neat soup tonight though, and oddly enough, I am going to have tacos, too, because I need to use the beautiful avocado I got a couple days ago. hee hee
Also, we are going to the Y. That will be good. I have to call Amy when she gets off of work tonight. That should be good too, only, sometimes I feel, and this is not really her fault, so much pressure to be positive and upbeat when we talk, and to be honest, sometimes her lifestyle and opinions of things kinda get me down. And I feel like I can't really be very honest sometimes with her, about myself, or what I think of her and her situation. I am not very comfortable with setting parts of myself aside.

So, anyway, I'm doing alright, I think.
All the traveling we will be doing in December is starting to make me feel nervous and stressed. I like quite holidays at home.
My mom's birthday would have been at the end of this month.
And I am nervous about Sean quite a lot of the time, too. I feel so much pressure to write him, and I am so worried about him that it is causing me to have anxiety problems when I try to think about writing him. I feel so anxious, that it is a bit crippling, and I have to confess that I have just broken down and cried at times, it is so overwhelming. I think I feel pressured to paint a picture for him, and right now, while things aren't bad or anything, I am feeling stressed and I don't want to express that. Well, I have to write him. I have to. And I have to do it soon. I need to set aside time to do it, and make myself. I know I will feel so relieved when I am finished.

On a few very fun and happy notes, I found a dvd of Emma, which is one of my favorite movies, for about 7 dollars a few days ago, and Peter bought Charlie and The Chocolate Factory today. hee hee...yay

Also, I have a neat idea about something to do for everyone in memory of my mother, but I don't know if I will be able to finish it in time. We'll see.

And, there is this:

Your Birthdate: March 27

You are a spiritual soul - a person who tries to find meaning in everything.
You spend a good amount of time meditating, trying to figure out life.
Helping others is also important to you. You enjoy social activities with that goal.
You are very generous and giving. Yet you expect very little in return.

Your strength: Getting along with anyone and everyone

Your weakness: Needing a good amount of downtime to recharge

Your power color: Cobalt blue

Your power symbol: Dove

Your power month: September
What Does Your Birth Date Mean?<

It's quite accurate, I think, actually. I don't get along with anyone and everyone, though. And while I don't always expect much in return, I do want much, sometimes, in return. So, that one is iffy. Also, I'm only generous and giving in certain ways.

woo-hoo Nov. 8th, 2005 @ 03:48 am

Spicy Thai Tomato Soup

Ingredients:
  • 1-10 ounce can condensed tomato soup (Campbell's)
  • light coconut milk
  • water
  • 1 tablespoon chopped cilantro (Chinese parsley)
  • 1 teaspoon Thai green curry paste (Thai Kitchen brand)
  • 1 scallion (green onion), sliced thin
Directions:

Place soup can contents in small sauce pan. Instead of just adding a can of water to the soup, use half the soup can of light coconut milk and half the soup can of water. Add the cilantro, the green curry paste, and the scallion. Stir well and heat thoroughly. This is very easy and delicious.

Serves: 4

Preparation time: 7 minutes


Nov. 2nd, 2005 @ 06:41 pm
Well, I am a little sad that my favorite holiday is over. poop. :) Tom got me a sweet, sweet card and a cute bear dressed as a kitty, for Halloween. I took a nap with the little guy earlier, and now babee has him. heehee

Tom and I are going to the mall to get my pearl ring back from Helzberg tonight. Maybe we will pick up a pretzel or something too. Then, we will hit the Y, and do something for dinner. Last night we made awesome tacos. :) I love tacos.

Well, I think I am almost finished with Arc the Lad. I think that Kingdom Hearts comes out sometime before the end of the year. I'm pretty excited about that.

My grandparents bought a new house, but they haven't moved into it yet. They are still living on the ranch in Mineral Wells, and probably will for a while longer. This new house is about an hour and a half away from where they live now. It's this amazing sort-of victorian-looking house. It's very big and it kind of looks like a Mary Engelbreit home or something. I can't wait to see it in person. Oh, it's sooo beautiful.

Also, I wish I was in Albuquerque now, getting ready to hike the Sandias and maybe hanging around old town, showing Tom around. Well, he's been to Albuquerque once before, but it was just stopping for the night and he had a weird time there. So, it doesn't really count as a proper visit.
Hey, I miss you auntie Ginger. I hope you are doing well.

Hmm... not much else on my mind, I guess. I got a new phone yesterday, and joined Peter's family plan, but I still haven't canceled my old Maryland number.
We are planning on getting cable some time soon.
I don't like having negative people in my life, and feel so good every moment that it feels like they are far away. I wish to bid a long and lasting farewell to some people now, but one of them I must be around during my brother's graduation, probably. And it is bringing up a lot of anxious and depressed sorts of feelings. I guess, in a way, though, it's good to be feeling bad about this, because it is proof to me that I am not over some of what happened to me when I was little. It's seems a little bit clearer to me now, than it has been at times. I think that Dan put me into a nearly constant state of depression from the time I was about 7-8 years old until I was about 18 or 19. So, it probably lasted for about 10-12 years I guess. And even after I wasn't really depressed in my life anymore, it was still hard to break down the fears and insecurities. Actually, I think my mom added to a lot of the guilt and insecurity I felt later in life. I think she just didn't really know how to treat us like children, she was so alone that she needed us to be both her peers and her children, at times. Well, anyway, I guess having to be around Dan sometime soon has put me in a bit of a vulnerable place. I just have to try and think about how much I have been through that I have overcome. I am not a little scared girl anymore. It will never be like it was when I was little. And, I doubt anything very bad will happen at the graduation, but even if it did, I know I will have lots of support there for me. Tom will be there for me. And, on a happy note, he will finally get to meet my brother! :D

Halloweeeeen! Oct. 31st, 2005 @ 03:17 pm
Happy Halloween everyone! YAY! This is my favorite holiday. yay!

hee hee

Tom and I will exchange Halloween cards tonight and maybe go out to dinner or make something really neat here. We'll see. Maybe it would be fun to go walk around Westfield and hit Starbucks for some coffee and dessert. :D

We rented 'Raise the Red Lantern' a couple nights ago, and last night we finished watching it. I think Gong Li is so wonderful. I think it's too bad that she has to play a bad girl in 'Memoirs of a Geisha'. But I didn't read the book, so maybe there is more to the character than that. I really should read the book soon. The screenshots I've seen so far, for the movie, are so beautiful.

I had seen 'Raise the Red Lantern' some years ago, and really enjoyed it, but this time around I think I took much more away from it. It really hit me this time how hopeless and full of despair the main character, Songlian, became. I remembered her relationship with the 3rd mistress as being much closer and more friendly than I felt it was after this viewing. Now, it strikes me that the reason there was any closeness between them was because they both shared a hatred for the 2nd mistress, they felt intimidated by her, and defeated and hopeless about the situation they were in. But they were still each others rivals and they knew that. I believe that the 3rd mistress felt that there could never be real closeness and trust between the wives and while she could relate to Songlian, she kept her distance. Songlian, however, I believe wanted to be close to all of them, in the beginning, and then any of them, however she could be, as time went by. I think she was lonely and hated the petty jealousies and rivalries that were nurtured by each of the wives, and the rest of the household even.

One of the things I find interesting to think about is how she chose to marry this rich man with three other wives in the first place. I think an important part of this story is the idea that Songlian was resigned to loneliness and had given up on dreams or hopes in the very beginning of the film. It is as if she had given up already and had decided that she would never be happy again. Maybe she felt it was too fragile to hope for, or try to nurture in life, so she decided to immerse herself in a situation she felt was inevitable (not having love, or being fulfilled), and maybe some part of her wanted to see what she could make of a situation like that.
I think she already felt so defeated by life, and was so bitter about it, that she sought out a miserable life, perhaps to feel she had control over misery and loneliness. If she could reject happiness, and embrace misery and loneliness, then she could decide how it would affect her, it couldn't take her by surprise. But she was more and more desperate for friendship and hope as time went by, and she was easily broken when they were taken from her.
It's still really heartbreaking, but in a way, it's almost as if she set the stage for what would happen in the very beginning.

Anyway, if you haven't seen this movie, rent it. It's very beautiful, and Gong Li is wonderful in it. She's going to be speaking English in 'Memoirs'. hee hee

Well, Meg, I hope your day, and costume went very well. It would be awesome to see a pic if it's possible.

Happy Halloween everyone. Eat candy, maybe wear something wacky, and have fun. :D

On a side note, I miss being able to eat ghost and pumpkin peeps. My mom used to get peeps for us around Halloween, Christmas and Easter, but I can't have them anymore because of stupid old stinking gelatin. pbbpttptpbb!

hee hee

Oh, hee hee... Tom wore a t-shirt to work today that has "hooked on Jesus" spelled out in this sort of mosaic-tile letter design. He also printed out some creationist literature stuff, and perhaps with the two he will be able to scare at least one person.
He wore a shirt over it, so that he hopefully doesn't offend anyone. :P

honesty Oct. 30th, 2005 @ 07:55 pm
What happened to honesty?
It flew out your window
And into my tree.

What has become of your face?
It will not be seen here,
put back in it’s place.

With those sharpened edges down
I can take out your stings;
proof that you are gone.

And, oh to be free… at last
from your binding chains,
your whip’s lash.

What happened to bravery?
It awoke in this heart,
and from you, saved me.

-----

Here's a new poem. I haven't written one in a while, and I am quite proud of it. I'm not sure if I will keep the ending as it is. :)

Oct. 26th, 2005 @ 11:00 pm
yay!!

Tom and I went to the mall tonight and had much fun. hee hee

I needed to get my promise ring clean-ered up at Helzberg. It's soo sparkly now. It was past due for it's inspection, and dusty, but I was more worried about the prongs needing touch-ups. The lady who inspected it for me, though, said that the prongs were fine and, after it had been cleaned, that the ring looked like it hadn't even been worn. I was so pleased; I have been trying to take good care of it. So, it was also nice that I could get it cleaned there, and not have to give it up for a few days or anything.
Tom and I also took in the pearl and diamond ring that my mother bought me many years ago, to be resized. I haven't worn it in a long time because my ring size went down so much, and because I felt kind of sad whenever I looked at it. It just reminded me of my mom and made me miss her. But I want to wear it again. I still miss her a lot, but I want to be reminded of her more often now.

So, that was all very good stuff. The resizing should only cost about 30 bucks, and will be done on Halloween. hee hee...yay!

I also bought Tom's Halloween card, a puzzle, and Tom and I got some lovely holiday-time scented candle, and plug-in things.

Tom was practicing 'Such Great Heights' and some Elliott Smith songs on Guitar last night. hee
I love it when he sings. :)

I hope Sean is doing well. I haven't had any more letters from him. I don't know if he has gotten any of mine. poop. I am really worried that he hasn't, and that maybe he thinks I just don't care enough to send him some. Ohhhhh.
I will send another one or two in the next couple days. I know it's sort of a negative thing to feel, but I am so anxious that he might feel I don't care about him. What if he doesn't have any time off after basic training and he is sad, or angry at me for not coming up on the 5th of Nov? :( Oh, geez. I hope he is getting my letters. I miss him so much. I wish I had a million dollars and could just go down and see him each time he had any time off and not have to worry about it. I guess, in reality though, I don't even think I could get a sub for myself, money has nothing to do with that. I think that I can understand and accept that it just isn't possible to do everything, and that that is okay. But I also think that because I don't know what will happen to him, I should just be doing more than I can, sort of, you know?
I will just keep sending letters and trying to stay positive. I will get to see him in Dec. during his Graduation, and hopefully get to spend a bit more time with him in Texas, too. I just have to keep being positive about it. ::sigh:: :)

I think Amy is doing well right now, too. Her car kinda had some trouble, but I think she is managing. She went hiking with a couple friends in Big Sur a couple weeks ago or something, and she said that she is going to go more often because it was so much fun and a great work-out. It's good to hear that she is doing well out there.

:D Halloween is coming! weeee!

Oct. 24th, 2005 @ 03:14 pm
I haven't updated in a while. poo

Last night Tom, Peter and I went to go hang out with a couple of their old high school friends, Cyrus and Pete. I was kind of worried that I would feel awkward, being the only girl, but it was fun. Cyrus is in Med school and a bit of an awkward sort of guy, but intelligent and really nice. He lives with his parents while he's in school, and his family is amazingly warm and friendly. His mother brought tea, cookies, chocolates, a fruit platter, and a beautiful bowl of mixed nuts, and she offered to make us more food. Cyrus wrote my name for me in Turkish or Persian or something, and in Hebrew. hee hee! So, I wrote his name and "Pete has funny hair" in Faenorian letters. hee.
Pete is a funny guy. After a little while, Pete called Cyrus and we decided to go pick him up and get some diner food. I think Pete might still be in College, too, but I am not sure. So, we ate food, then we went back to Pete's house and played trivial pursuit for a couple hours. hee hee. It was Cyrus and Pete, against Tom, Peter and me. Pete is amazing at the game. He just knows tons of random stuff.

So, anywho, it was fun.

Oh, Tom and I got this 'Republic of Tea' mediterranean blend a week or so ago, at whole foods and we each had a cup of that last night. If any of you ever try it, and you are not too young, try it with a little bit of grande marnier, or any sweet, orange liqueur, it's very wonderful.

Well, so, Tom and I have decided, that we will not go to visit Sean for the family day on Nov. 5th. God, I hope this is the right decision. We will definitely go to his graduation, but there is a chance that after his basic training, he will get a couple weeks off, and go to Texas for them, so Tom and I want to save our money to see him then. It's a risk, because if we go see him on the 5th (if we could even get subs for that sat.) we will not be able to afford to go see him during his break, but there is a chance that he may not get a break, so it's possible that the 5th would be out only chance to really spend some time with him. Tom and I both agree, though, that it would be much better to go see him for a few days in Texas when Amy might be there and where Tom would be able to finally meet my great-grandmother, before something happens to her, than to see him for a day, when he will be unable to really go anywhere anyway.
I think Sean is going to get in touch with an old friend in GA. to visit with during his pass, and I know my grandparents are definitely going to visit, so, he will not be completely alone.

One thing that has been worrying me is that I found out from Amy that Dan will be at the graduation ceremony. I just didn't even think about it. I mean, it makes sense that he would be there, I just hadn't thought about it. I am worried a bit, because he has a tendency to say things that I find hurtful, or that make me uncomfortable, and if no one else hears it, then I will have to feel terrible all by myself, and then if someone else does hear it, there might be a problem, and I don't want that to happen on such an important day for Sean.

On a happy note, Tom and I went to our favorite Hallmark/awesome candy store recently, while they were having a "bag sale", and bought some really good candy corn, stickers, white-chocolate mousse coffee, two halloween candles, a little thing of orange marmalade, and some mistletoe-scented plug in things. I bought some really great malt balls about a week ago. Malt balls were one of my mom's favorite candies, smarties were her favorite. And she always used to buy candy corn around this time of the year. So, when I eat my candy, I think of her. I miss her so much.

Raji and Babs got into a little fight this morning and Raji cut her on the face again. Peter was really, really pissed and saying at first that he thinks he is just going to have to put him to sleep. Tom and I don't want him to have to do that, though. I think we are going to keep Raji out of our room completely and try this herbal cat-anxiety stuff that was recommended to us a while back. It might help Babee who has become a very nervous girl because of Raj, as well as Raji, who is just an uncontrollable, anxious, scared mess sometimes.

Oct. 13th, 2005 @ 06:21 pm
Tom and I stayed up really late watching 'Sin City' last night. I though some of it was a bit gross, but overall, I really, really liked it. I thought Bruce Willis was good, and I just loved the Marv and Goldie story. And Miho, she could not have been any cooler. We bought it before having seen it because it was like 8 bucks and just to rent it once would have been about 5. So, now we own it, YAY! Peter and I went to pick up movies and indian food while Tom went to the Y. It was crazy driving with all the rain we've been getting; there were something like 7 foot walls of water on either side of the car at times. heh...scary.

But, I absolutely love the rain. It's so comforting to hear it pitter-pattering around outside. I have to admit that, while of course really bad and very dangerous weather is not too good, I love it when nature gives us a little slap now and again. I think it kind of helps put some things in perspective. Just when we go and maybe start thinking that all of our problems and big ordeals in life are so overwhelming, we get sheets of rain and flash flood warnings. It's comforting in a way. It forces us to deal with something greater and more powerful than ourselves once in a while.
Grey skies and dark cloudiness are just the very best. :D
Give me rumbley, thunderey, raining chaos in the sky anytime.

Anyway, I had a wonderful Tuna taco salad for lunch which made me pretty happy. hee hee
I'll probably work on getting laundry done, getting ingredients for a neat soup, and getting ready for Sat. lessons now, I think.

And Tom is home. yayness.

Such Great Heights Oct. 12th, 2005 @ 06:59 pm
I am thinking it's a sign that the freckles
In our eyes are mirror images and when
We kiss they're perfectly aligned

And I have to speculate that God himself
Did make us into corresponding shapes like
Puzzle pieces from the clay

True, it may seem like a stretch, but
Its thoughts like this that catch my troubled
Head when you're away when I am missing you to death
When you are out there on the road for
Several weeks of shows and when you scan
The radio, I hope this song will guide you home

They will see us waving from such great
Heights, 'come down now,' they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away,
'come down now,' but we'll stay...

I tried my best to leave this all on your
Machine but the persistent beat it sounded
Thin upon listening
That frankly will not fly. you will hear
The shrillest highs and lowest lows with
The windows down when this is guiding you home

They will see us waving from such great
Heights, 'come down now,' they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away,
'come down now,' but we'll stay...

____

This is a song that Tom found recently. It's a song by a group called Postal Service, but their version is... a bit wonky. :P
The version we really like is done by Iron and Wine. It's really worth checking out. It feels like being in love, morning sunshine, and warm embraces.
I love you Tom. :)
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